A lot of people claim to be concerned about child abuse. But how much of it is just for clout?

Well I tell you something, for a man that largely feels irrelevant in this world and whatever the heck is going on in it, being the outsider you don't half see some stuff.

The thing is, I feel much of this social media wave of people claiming to be concerned about child abuse is all too often just about jumping on the bandwagon or getting clout.

My biggest question is this...where is anybody when it's more than just a story to be profited from? Hats off the the paedophile hunting teams that are out there because all too often the answer is absolutely nowhere.

Recently two of my online trolls had seemed to be communicating among one another in which one of them had seemed to take quite a dislike to my speaking of paedophiles and child abuse. One could easily suspect that I may have hit a nerve there, although I could be wrong, but it's not the first time I've heard such people express their dislike for my thoughts on it. Personally, I noticed a sudden drop off on my social media as soon as I started talking about child abuse awareness, which in itself raises some questions as to what and why this happens.

What many people won't know is that a few years ago I attempted to blow the whistle on what I believed to be inappropriate physical contact with a young person and I'd also suspected grooming. It's a weird situation though because I know what I saw, yet everyone that was there and EVEN the young person involved seems to be claiming otherwise. Not that anyone ever came to ask me why I'd made such serious allegations though, which is something that today I find myself revisiting and asking the same old questions that concern me.

Despite making contact with the police numerous times, why was an official statement never taken from me? Why did I never receive a visit from the police to ask me why I was making such serious allegations about someone?

Also....

Why has no t a single soul from the community associated with the person I made those allegations about ever came to speak with me, or even to warn me about making such accusations?

Perhaps I know why really, because they decided to play this whole game outside of the realms of law and the legal system. That's not to say that police officers weren't involved, but it just wasn't in the way I'd expected, nor wanted or deserved.

I'd been so full of rage and anxiety after learning that my allegations had been completely covered up that I emailed every authority in the county from safeguarding boards, MP's and even to the police and crime commissioner. I heard back from nobody except a reply back from MP Tom Watson, but I don't think it went much further because I myself was on edge after certain circumstances and I think Watson at the time might have been focusing more on Operation Yewtree etc.

Anyhow, much of what I'm about to say I've spoken about and written many times only to then delete it because of the huge amounts of anxiety and mental health effects it causes.

Another reason I delete it is because, well, I'm me. I'm sure you all know by now that most people simply don't think I'm worth listening to whatever the heck I'm doing or talking about. I am just one of those people who's life is a slog and somebody that people just aren't really interested in, and predatory types know this all too well. "Who's going to listen to you" is built into their belief system.

And they are certainly right, the many years of internet projects and even being on the TV and radio has often brought surprisingly shocking minimal results of support from people in which I still remain feeling completely trapped outside of the box in life.

Years have gone by now, and I'm surprised by the amount of times that I've lost the plot and shouted about it online when the mental health effects have resurfaced that no-one ever came to tell me to 'shut my mouth' or stop causing trouble, let alone ask any questions to dig deeper as to what could have been going on in their own community.

Through the whole journey I saw most people merely watch when I claimed I was in seriously dodgy and dangerous situation and when my mental health was deteriorating, whilst I could count on one hand the amount of people that took the time to either listen to me or tell me that I wasn't on my own.

Sadly though, I've truly paid the price through such online rants, of which it feels today that I have more people screwing with me than I actually do have support anything I do.

It's made me feel 'not like most people' in the sense that out of trying to do what I believed was right I'm just left feeling like a complete freak and outcast from the world and living in one where people tell me that my concerns aren't worth the time - meanwhile many of them jump on the child abuse bandwagon as soon as the latest celebrity abuse scandal comes out. This is what we're dealing with, and I'm sorry to say this but there's only so much looking up to police and politicians for answers before we start asking 'where did we go wrong ourselves?'

In my online efforts to discuss with people claiming to be 'online advocates' for the whole child abuse scandal issue, few of them ever emailed me back or seemed interested in a word I had to say.

Again, this is what allows it to happen though. Perhaps when some Hollywood celebrity starts talking about when it happened to them people will listen, but generally nobody really has the time to listen to those they don't look upwards to. I know by this point that the automatic disrespect for my past struggles is one that doesn't entitle me to have a voice heard in the same ways that most people get theirs heard. It's just the way it is, and even trying to promote any of my projects has caused me much depression. What would I know? People automatically presume.

The fact I grew up on the streets as a kid and came across predators almost every week I was there counts for nothing. If I was rich and different I don't think it would be the same, but being poor and different is a complete different ballgame. Nobody has any time for you.

So, if you're really interested and concerned about abuse scandals such as the VIP Westminster abuse scandal, operation Yewtree and Elm Guest House and the like, perhaps there are pieces of the puzzle that will never be shown to you through the lens of a camera, but instead are to be found in some of the places right in front of your very eyes.

Until then, we'll remain simply talking heads, pretending to care because it's profitable or brings respectable kudos.

Lame.